the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Randomize
