She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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