maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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