I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
