I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
