so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
Randomize
