we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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