What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
