Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
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