Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
