so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
