Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Randomize
