Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
