I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
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