I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Randomize
