Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
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