your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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