I never want to see another naked old woman again.
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize
