was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
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