ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Randomize
