He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
Randomize
