Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
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