just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
