Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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