she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
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