they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
