i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
bring money and cleavage
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Randomize
