Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
You dont lie about slip and slides
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
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