it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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