how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
