from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
i out mim tonsoeep
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