Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Randomize
