she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
oh god was she eating orange peels again
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
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