i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
