I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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