It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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