STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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