One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize
