Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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