His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
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