I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Randomize
