Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
