What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
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