ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
