I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Randomize
