How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
Randomize
