i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize
