With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
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