There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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