I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
try to milk me bitch
Randomize
