This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
